*COME WORKOUT WITH ME!!*
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so I'm gonna go to the Dollar Tree
across town because I heard that they
had some new stuff they don't know but I
guess we're gonna find out and I'm going
to go to window which is a store here
and organ it's it's kind of like an
h-e-b or HIPAA GP I think it is and a
Kroger's I think it's kind of like that
type of a store but I just want to get
some stuff for the kids because they are
completely out of like their snacks
they're out of their you know easy Mills
things like that sauce that we were like
oh I was like scroungy trying to figure
out what to make and because what we did
have none of them wanted and we only had
one frozen pizza left
and everybody was not me but the kids
were wanting beads and I'm like
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we figured it out
we go to most of that they ended up
eating shrimp with their dads leave it
to that and my I ended up having the
pizza so it all worked out but it's so
funny because my kids are so particular
like they like their certain things like
anyways I hope you guys are having a
really good day I woke up this morning
and feeling a lot more myself you know I
just don't know a hundred percent where
I was yesterday like I think we don't
honestly I think you know as a mom as a
parent that's the Guardian as somebody
that takes care of children I think
everybody got you know kind of gets to
those points in their life where they're
just burnt out
you know it's part of being a human it
doesn't make me less of a person or make
somebody less of a person if you know
they're you know we're that a dad or
whatever but you know it doesn't make
anybody less of a person because of that
but it definitely just
you know it's hard to what am I trying
to say like
it's hard to be a hundred percent when
it you feel like you're sober now and
you know only his job is very demanding
in a lot of ways which you know what I
shouldn't complain because there are
parents out there them are single
parents that are doing this all by
themselves you know there are families
where the spouse has a job a career that
takes them away from the home for many
days at a time hours at a time you know
and at least I have my husband at home
every single night to help me and you
know in those regards but it still
doesn't dismiss me the attire
does that make sense because I am still
a human being and I still I'm gonna have
those days where I am just like you know
I just need that break and you know this
last week because of being sick
I really didn't get a break you know I
didn't get to go anywhere and really
enjoy myself at any time so in return
I've been like I've been at home
for the last like almost week and a half
with no break in between with the kids
and you know I love my babies to death
my god you know they're my everything
but again it doesn't dismiss that
apparent still needs that break you know
and and yes all he does get a lot of
time departed between our home the kids
because he has a job that's outside of
the home which I'm glad I don't you know
in those ways I'm grateful that I get to
stay at home and be that stay-at-home
mom and not not have to be you know
getting up one Monday morning you know
and going to work and how didn't worry
about getting my kids to daycare and all
of that you know I mean I am so grateful
for that but again it doesn't dismiss me
as a mom having to meet a break so today
I am getting it to get my mommy break so
I told ollie that I was going to go and
look at this Dollar Tree up here
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see what they have and then I'm gonna
pop over to Winco and just grab a few
groceries and then I'm gonna go home
because he has to go to work a little
bit later so I figured I would take
advantage and just going have some time
he gets done I want to get done I was
debating on doing my nails today but I'm
trying to leave them on even if they
start looking rough I am trying to leave
them on because I am trying it to see
how long these nails will stay on before
they start lifting so far I have had no
lifting and my nails are long you know
and a lot of times when you have longer
nails they will lift built into little
quicker but so far I haven't had no
lifting no nothing like I mean they've
been really intact feel really strong
anyways and so I am debating on doing
them or not because I'm just like I
really want to keep them like just do it
as long as I can before I have to like
really do a film but they are starting
to grow so they're starting to get a
little further along so I am trying to
decide what I want to do but I'll figure
it out I ate today at some point if I
want to do yet or if I just want to wait
and do them
I'm waiting for a color to come in from
it's supposed to be here on their 21st
that's what I was hoping to do mine else
was the 21st about we then
I know the color that I'm order so I
don't know I'm trying to decide if I
want to just not sure which one's gonna
win anyways I will check in with you
guys once we get into once I get into
the store I will check in with you but
until then okay I just got out of the
grocery store I did not vlog you guys it
is maddening in there right now like oh
my goodness whoa so I got in and I got
out but mainly all I got was just like
snacks for the kids like healthier
snacks I got some of the frozen dinner
things just for like easy Poppins if I
need something quick for the kids their
favorite is the Stouffer's spaghetti
with meat sauce because it doesn't have
pork in it it just has beef and so they
really really really like that one so I
got some of those I got some of my
cleanse I think it is brand of the real
macaroni and cheese I don't know I've
never made that one so we'll see if they
like it but I do know that they like the
spaghetti ones so I got some of those I
got a few of the frozen pizzas just some
things that are easy just for throw-ins
on nights we're always working late and
I typically when he works late and he
doesn't cook dinner
I turned to salad so I don't want to
have to like you know throw a whole
dinner together when I know the babies
won't eat that much so on those nights
and quick nights I just that's a go-to
and I know it's probably not the best
thing mommy here mommy of the Year award
but sometimes it's just nice to make
something quick and the kids like it
so um then I got them some little treats
but nothing too too fancy but anyways I
am now gonna go into Dollar Tree you
guys it took me 15
to look for a parking spot 15 minutes I
had to wait until somebody pulled out so
fYI I don't know if I'm gonna vlog in
there because if it is really busy I'm
just like not even gonna do because I'm
typically just running in to look for
something and coming right back out so I
probably won't do a whole whole lot of
vlogging if I do any because it's really
packed in there I'm like debating if I
even want to go in that's how bad it is
but I know I need to I know I need to
just go in there but I don't want to so
anyways I will catch you up with you
guys in a little bit and when I get back
in the car and let you know what I get
from Daughtry you guys nasty out oh my
gosh oh my gosh do you there so I found
what I was looking for because so the
other day remember I bought those
containers from Walmart and I'm gonna
put the shirts and stuff in oh I found
something I think I'm actually used
better but I'm still gonna use those
containers because I'm gonna actually
put them in my hall closet when when he
word when no hopefully my family is
doing it because I asked them to do it
anyways I'm gonna put those in the
closet so that way then we could put
like are just things that we need to
keep organized because I just I don't
want my closets to look like they do now
and I will show you if they haven't done
it I will show you the before and the
after because there's a be a change
anyways but I thought I purchased these
though they were a dollar which okay
they are more flimsy than the ones that
you're gonna get at Walmart and stuff
like that but the ones a Walmart are a
lot more expensive for just one at least
these are only a dollar and they always
have them so if something say happen to
them which I know one that's gonna get
into the bin so it's not like they're
gonna be being destroyed if something
was to happen then I just come here and
replace the ones that I've been roomed
if that makes sense I got this for my
back I don't know if it's gonna fit I
was trying to look at the measurements
but it didn't have a measuring thing so
I just went ahead and got it anyways
either way I can still use this to put
like my pins and stuff in in my purse so
that way they're not floating everywhere
I am working on my weight loss book so I
found these which it was really I was so
excited because I didn't know that
Dollar Tree had the little small photo
albums and these ones actually hold more
than the ones that I've been paying like
five bucks for these hold 48 you guys I
got two Buffa's bow boss of us I got
multiples of these they're all the same
color I want to keep everything
color-coordinated I got the small ones I
also picked up six of the larger ones
these are gonna be the ones that I put
like my shirts and the panties and all
that stuff in I'm so excited you guys
yeah then I got like a medium sized box
which I'll show you guys more of those
just kind of hard to show our um and
then I picked up I picked up two of
these I'm hoping that they're not going
to clash with my plates but because I'm
going to be doing something with my
business and these whole plates and
that's what I'm gonna be doing so I can
so anyways that is all I got at Dollar
Tree I did more walking around and just
like repeating my now I am on my way to
get a drink and then go home so that
police can take off and go do his
stomach so anywho once I get back to the
house I will check in with you guys it
like I said it is so nasty out here like
nasty nasty out here is that I it's
gross
so I am really trying to pay attention
to the roads because let's just say this
is like not the best weather to be
driving in and you know the really cool
thing is I thought I was gonna spend
like a whole bunch of money which Ollie
was like I'll give me 20 bucks to go and
spend for the day you know it's like
okay all that came to $26 so I spent $6
out of my own pocket of money and then I
got my $20 from him I was a good girl I
was a good girl anyways okay I'm gonna
call him really quick check in with him
tell him I'm gonna be on my way I'm just
gonna grab a drink and then I will be
headed to the house so I you know I
wanted to really cook I was sitting here
thinking about it I wanted to thank you
guys for always supporting me and always
being there and uplifting I feel like
you know I'm having those moments of
just you know feeling lost or just not
being a hundred percent myself you know
my personality is excuse me my
personality is I'm always always most of
the time I am a bubbly person I am happy
with life and I am satisfied with the
way things go in my life I don't stress
about the little things because
stressing about things that you know
aren't going the way that you planned or
whatever you know what is that really I
know I'm going the wrong way you do sir
anyways I always have that you know
sorry here I'm thinking because of that
guy my way of thinking is you can't
stress at all things that you can't
change you can just try your hardest
give it the hundred percent that you can
and let it play what its gonna do you
know there's nothing you can do nor do
anything that's gonna change anything
about the way life goes you guys it is
so funny because so I have me certain
people on YouTube that I want that i
religiously watch right and I have my
schedule I have I have it down back like
I put s her to sleep and then BOOM it's
YouTube marathon for at least an hour
and a half right because Ollie is pretty
woman asleep and then he he does some
reading and stuff in the room and then
he comes out and yeah then he'll go
directly outside and smoke the last part
of the cigar for the night and he comes
in we sat down with watch TV or we
clearly he's trying to you know watch
his shows or you know whatever so
I was it is I died I was like okay what
have I done with my child I have now
turned her into a youtuber to watcher
that was so good she you know little kid
sponge everything I'm thinking you know
as a parents that you do they do
and so I totally this price it would
that be hilarious when she gets older
and
you know I've never been I've never been
like a soap watcher like Days of Our
Lives or anything like that like I just
don't it's a nothing I'm not against it
but I just never have found it
interesting to me so anyways I told all
the I said yeah well this generation
that's coming up their soaps are gonna
be the youtubes shuttles it's not gonna
be you know because people that do daily
vlogging it it is kind of like a soap in
a way I mean clearly clearly not the
same because I ain't sleeping with Joe
and all he's not sleeping with Mary and
my kids are shoplifting somewhere I mean
you know don't have that much excitement
in my life but I think it's so funny how
like this generation coming off this era
is more about like I mean I don't know
maybe it's just our family but we don't
really even watch much TV anymore like
literally we watch YouTube like that is
just what we want but I enjoy like if I
am gonna watch TV a majority of the
shows i watch are real life shows being
like the 7 little Johnston's and the
little couple and the Roloffs said
who else my big fat fabulous life I mean
I watch all like live shows
so it wouldn't be anything different
that I enjoy watching daily vlogs
because again it's like they become a
part of you they become a part of your
schedule they become a part of your
family
I mean honestly and you know I don't
know if it's the same with my channel
with people I you know I don't think I'm
not special but I do have people that i
religiously watch on a daily and when
they've missed and uploaded at some
point I'm like what happened oh my gosh
I hope everything's okay okay because
you know you tend to think that you know
and so anyways as I'm babbling on you
know I am gonna go in the house mine is
coming out right now to help me carry
everything in because it's raining but I
will check it with you guys because I
don't own a phone
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this knife has a straight edge on it so
it's very easy maybe in our world here
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help me I'm sorry you guys I think it's
a whole exercise video because I can't
realize my phone died you see my chest
pumping oh I'm so hot
I definitely no need to take a shower
ah I come and flopped on my bed because
my legs are gentle oh that felt amazing
I have not worked out you guys like that
since oh I can't even tell you really
when the last time I worked out like
that it's been a shower
I was kosher that's hopefully the kids
drinking water go figure
anyways hope you guys enjoy
hope you enjoyed watching what I was
able to do like I said I wasn't able to
do as much as I wanted because well I
mean I did but I ain't get to get it all
I did 30 minutes but I didn't get to do
it all because my phone died so clearly
ya know there's that but I am going to
go actually I think since I'm sitting
here I'm going to close my vlog and then
go take a shower and get ready for bed
because I've got counseling early in the
morning we have anyways I'm going to
close so I will see you back in a few
seconds
once I'm done wiping my face off
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yes I look like a serious hot mase I
came home today I put all this stuff
away everything that I needed to anyways
and I sat down I did my nails which I'm
really sorry you guys I know that I kind
of did like a really really crappy job
of video mean I did not realize that my
tripod thingy
move steering some of it so when I
looked up to see if I was still in focus
I'm like oops nope not in focus anymore
I don't know how long I was out um so
anyways but I got bits and pieces of it
to share with you guys but I did do like
a holiday look is pretty much what I'm
not a holiday look but a winter look I
guess that's what you call it winter um
so I did that today and then you guys
I've been getting orders I'm so excited
like ah yes and I have one youtuber that
I am making stuff for and she's gonna
review it on her channel and then the
same youtuber that I am sending stuff to
for review I also am going to start
making her merchandise for her channel
so I am so excited like you guys just
have no idea I well I know you guys have
all the ideas because I've been talking
about this Oh mark can you stop please I
really would rather that not gonna put
um anyways but yes because I have been
talking about it for awhile now and it's
just like I finally see it like all
coming to life and it's like this is
what I needed so um I was working on
doing like my order sheets which I can't
show you guys cuz I've got like people's
information and addresses and stuff like
that but it's so awesome just like I
mean I can show you my book like I kind
of already showed you guys a little bit
like to keep everything like totally
organized excuse this pillow this is not
really a pillow we use um my book that I
keep everything in is in here so I can
do like keep everything organized and
it's just got like my ordering stuff
like my ordering information on the
backs and stuff like that and then like
I have the order sheets back there that
I'm able to just make the orders right
there with my book and I'm so excited
it's like it's all getting royal to me
now so yes my mess is still sitting
there my mr. husband did not clean my
clothes are like we talked about that's
okay we will we will get it done
I promise I told him he's just sleep
with my stuff tonight he's like okay
I'll just put you to the side I'm like
yeah obviously um so anyways I spent
some time with the kids I'm really gonna
start working on - that was something
else I was doing today what oh cool okay
can you go and play with Maya for a few
minutes anyways something I'm gonna
really start working on with myself
because I find myself yelling a lot just
yelling like yelling and sometimes all
you will look at me like so serious like
you normally pull you guys back away you
look at me and be like why are you
screaming because I'm talking he's like
Amy I'm right here like I fully hear you
like why are you screaming well I don't
know
back to screaming again and I find
myself doing that with the kids - like
if I'm trying to get their attention or
something it's oh you know where that's
right you know instead of just talking
oh I just didn't like reminding myself
that you know if I speak calm to them
they're going to respond calm
and so today every time I started
feeling like I you know my anxiety was
hyping up or that the kids were doing
things that I've asked them to stop can
you please stop go sit down
as my anxiety starts to build I'm I
stopped myself and I'm like okay one two
and I'll slowly count to five and by
that point either they have stopped what
I've asked him to stop doing or I've
calmed a second to refrain from yelling
and then tell them hey we're not gonna
do this we're not gonna go down this
road today and I will say that today it
seemed like the house just ran a lot
smoother today and I know I'm not saying
oh my god I'm perfect mom today and uh
you know I'm not gonna yell no more
because I'm a mom you know I'm a human
and anybody that says they do not ever
yell at their child who knows because I
do I'm the first to admit so honey so to
me it's like I just have to constantly
remind myself like you know I have to
talk calm to them so they will respond
to me calm but if I'm yelling all the
time you know and all he has you know
he's you know he's called me out like
when I'm sitting there talking and he'll
be like Amy why are you yelling you know
and then oh my god hello yep back to the
count and then talk you know so if I
have to do that to help me stop my
yelling and stop me firmly acting
immediately then that's gonna give me
the chance to catch myself and it's
gonna give them a chance to catch up
with what I was just saying so I really
worked hard on that today when I told
them to stop doing something or you know
and I just feel like the house ran
smoother today without me yelling so I'm
really gonna work on that more
stuck your hair is stuck oh it is stuck
okay hold on but I will have to say that
I will have to say that the house just
seemed to be more um you know kids are
gonna be kids and I have to remind
myself that you know my kids are not
robots I cannot treat them like robots
you know there are of course boundaries
and there's something called manners and
politeness but it doesn't mean I have to
treat them like they're not able to move
around because this is their home and
they should be able to move around
freely and not feel like they're gonna
be yelled at every time that you know I
have to get in that mindset that my kids
are not just random kids you know this
is their home and I don't want them to
feel like they can't go throughout my
home where they want to go because mom's
gonna be yelling and screaming you know
what I'm saying like it's just I don't
know I that's just kind of where I've
been today is just thinking about that
and just being more cautious of the way
that I talk to them because you know I
noticed that the yellow a lot at me too
and it's like how can I blame them if
I'm yelling at them that's their only
gonna do the same thing that I'm doing
so yeah I really really talked to myself
today especially being at all today I
think it really just kind of helped you
know just reset my clock and you know my
mom talked and so it just gave me a
little bit of time to just really think
and you know be more mindful of the way
that I react to them um tomorrow I have
counseling and then I don't know for
sure if I'm gonna go up with Olli or not
but he has to go back up to Eugene
tomorrow because remember Friday he did
forgot a paper so we went up to Eugene
for nothing on Friday but it was a nice
little Drive with him and the kids so it
wasn't like it was a waste of time but
it was definitely we didn't get
accomplish what we were that's okay so
anyways
other than that today has just been a
really
you know it's been a really good day I
am just really in a good spot tonight
and going to bed tonight I feel like
I've really I just had to reset back a
little bit and remind myself that I'm
human I'm not a robot I have you know
like you all were telling me you know I
have kids I have a husband I've got my
youtube channel I've got a business I'm
starting my husband's got a business you
know and I have to have time for myself
too and if I'm burning the candle at
both ends I'm gonna burn out on
something and I don't want to because my
business and my youtube channel are too
like I've said before they're my most
passionate things that I adore in my
life and I will never give those two
things up ever ever and the amount of
friendships that I have gained from
having my youtube channel is amazing so
there's two ways around it and so today
was just a really it was a good wake-up
call a good wake-up Hey
you know you're gonna be okay Amy you're
you're gonna be okay
there's nothing that's too hard for you
there's nothing too much so anyways I
hope you guys had a wonderful weekend it
was pretty nice here it was a little bit
if today weather-wise but it's all right
you know what I'm still alive I'm
breathin and so it makes it a great day
so anyways I am gonna close my vlog you
guys I will check in with you tomorrow
bring Johnny in the morning until then
sweet dreams
bye
